You are allowed to want more. More than the job that you’re good at but don’t enjoy, more than listening to your children fight over the pink cup again, more than another night in front of the TV, scrolling Instagram. This does not have to be it.
Warning signs: the scrolling, eating habits that feel compulsive, another glass of wine… And perhaps you say “some day I’d love to” or “one day I’m going to”… but you first said that two years ago and nothing’s changed.
Wanting more is normal. And if you are numbing (see behaviours above) or constantly coming up with plans or dreaming, and yet doing nothing about it, you need to make a change. I insist you make a change. Ask yourself, what if I do nothing about my current situation? Where will I be five years from now? Scary?
I hope it’s scary. I hope it’s a kick up the ass to make that change. I want the best for you. I want more for you. I want you to have the life that you really, truly dream of. Around about now a voice has probably starting speak to you. It is probably saying things like “my dreams are too big”; “who am I?”; “logistically that’s just possible” or “I don’t have the time/money/resources for that”. And to that voice or voices, I call bullshit and I am allowed to call bullshit because I have been there.
Exactly there, with all of those excuses. (And I am far from “fixed” - those excuses still roll off my tongue now and again.) You have accepted what is, as what must be. You have accepted your learned behaviours to be you. You have accepted and are using all of these as an excuse. I did too. And then I didn’t. I tried something different, I pushed just a little bit, baby steps in the direction I dreamed of, one after another. And as I did so those barriers started to fall away, some just did so naturally, some I had to fight harder for but slowly, one after the other, all the excuses, all the things I have accepted as fact, as immovable blockages in the path to my dreams, just weren’t there any more.
This is an invitation. I am not your coach. These are simply words on a page and therefore I can’t challenge you as I’d like to, pick apart those excuses with you and help you see the light. But what I can do is invite you to start asking yourself some questions. Because you can do that without me. What do you dream of? What would you do if all the restrictions you put in your way simply weren’t there? What kind of life could you have? What is the more you seek?
Do something, something small, right now. Grab a notebook, set a timer and write - 20 minutes of non-stop writing about the life you want (with nothing about the life you don’t). Put it out there. It’s not going to change overnight but one day can become day one. And that’s the first step.